Talking to Yourself

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You, yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.  

Let that sink in, especially if you’re feeling less than love toward yourself today. Most of us, if not all of us, go through times when we are very critical of ourselves – bringing up past mistakes, berating ourselves for choices we’ve made and words we said that can’t be unsaid… and to what end?

We may think that being self-critical is good for us, that it stimulates us to do better next time. While that’s true, it’s “how” we talk to ourselves that is the difference between being kind and supportive of ourselves and being too hard on ourselves with the result that WE beat ourselves down. There’s a difference between “tough love” and just being jerks to ourselves – it’s actually a fine line and it’s so easy to cross it!

Are you really aware of the words you use to yourself, and about yourself? Probably not. 

The way you talk to and about yourself is habitual. Perhaps you’re used to calling yourself “stupid” when you make a mistake; or “not good enough” when someone offers you an opportunity that intimidates you. But ARE you “stupid” or “not good enough”… ALL the time, in everything? Of course not! 

You may not have the skills and knowledge around this one particular thing, but so what? You can learn. You may have messed up BIG, but so what? What can you do better next time? How did you grow from that mistake?

Remind yourself… if you’re a fish, you can’t be expected to climb trees. You’re good at what you’re good at, you can learn and improve, but you are never, ever stupid or not good enough. Can you please remove those phrases from your self-talk?

If not – ask yourself, “would I talk to my best friend like this?” No! Not if you want to keep that friend! And since YOU are the only constant in your life you should treat yourself as your best friend.

Build yourself up instead of knocking yourself down. Use encouraging statements like “you can do this” or “I’ll figure it out.” Remember that you ARE worthy of love and affection, despite what others may have said about you. Don’t let that opinion sway you. You were not born into this world unworthy or unlovable.

So start telling a better story about yourself, right now. No more “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not worthy.” 

You ARE. Remember to speak to yourself as you do to your best friend.

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